The Head Of The Wife
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Ephesians 5:23 says that "the
husband is the head of the wife." One meaning of the word "head" is
"source," as in, "the source of a flowing stream or river." Indeed, the
first use of the word "head" in the Bible is in Genesis 2:10, which
And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from
thence it was parted, and became into four heads [that is, the headwaters of
four other rivers].
When defined as "source", being head of one's wife is not about a role
that has to be obtained or achieved. Nor does it speak of being "head of
household"–that's an entirely different word in scripture. And it's not
about ownership, power, or control. Rather, it is a recognition of the
fact that something always flows in real time from the husband to his
wife, supplying her, filling her, washing her.
The question then becomes, "What is flowing?" Is the husband a channel
for the life and grace of God flowing from above? Or is he a source unto
himself, a backwater of self-life from which flow selfishness,
foolishness, and hurt.
Answering this question often becomes a focus in counseling couples
whose marriages are in trouble. Once a husband realizes that whatever is
going on in him affects his wife, he is able to become accountable to
the Lord and to her for that flow.
Through understanding, conviction, and repentance, he can cleanse
himself of any pollution of flesh and spirit that has defiled his wife
and hindered their relationship. And through humility and faith, he can
open the floodgates of the love of God into their marriage.
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